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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) - LNF story book - (Read 18,420 times)
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Hardhat
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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #10 - Mar 28th, 2008 at 7:02pm
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Suddenly nothing happened. But it happened suddenly mind you. I decided to tke a trip into town. So putting on my going into town vest I set out...
  

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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #11 - Mar 28th, 2008 at 7:23pm
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Suddenly nothing happened. But it happened suddenly mind you. I decided to tke a trip into town. So putting on my going into town vest I set out...

Feeling dapper I decided to withdraw some cash from the bank, as I entered the bank a rather slow witted man wearing a ski mask pulled down over his face went to the counter..
At the tellers window he demanded all the money she had. Struggling with the money in one hand while trying to figure out the velcro enclosure on his backpack, I said maybe if you were to turn your mask around you could see better.
With a lilt in his voice, he said" why thank you" and took off his mask, now with his hands busy with all his tasks , I said "here let me hold that for you". a
With that he said "Heyyyy' I'm not that stupid, so he handed me......
  
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Napoleon Bona parts 8 Thru 9
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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #12 - Mar 28th, 2008 at 8:08pm
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Ella Fitzgerald who happened to be standing there at the time....
  

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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #13 - Mar 28th, 2008 at 9:17pm
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Ella Fitzgerald who happened to be standing there at the time....

As my knees began to buckle under her weight, I handed her off to some Welsh guy playing the song "My Trampoline, how I love her" on his Saxophone.
At that moment, I spied with my little eye' the guy was wearing Lederhosen held up by a belt. What an odd fasion, I know they're supposed to use suspenders, but this guy marched to his own drummer.
But I noticed something very strange sitting on his shoulder, it was a ....
  
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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #14 - Mar 28th, 2008 at 10:54pm
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... a wart.  The wart had hair coming out of it ... long and blond.  O lord ... a blond wart ...

Nox
  

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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #15 - Mar 29th, 2008 at 12:00am
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A blond wart...
And to my amazement, it began to dance. Not just any dance, mind you, but the Dance of the Seven Veils!

Well, I'll tell you, I was certainly riveted by the sight. I stopped short (around 5'5"). Luckily, so did my Lederhosen-wearing adversary. While we stood in freeze-frame watching the tiny wart dance, along came...
  
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Napoleon Bona parts 8 Thru 9
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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #16 - Mar 29th, 2008 at 12:46am
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"Have a tuba" the wart said to me "They're milder than trumpets". After we smoked our tubas he told mea tale that changed my life forever..
  

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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #17 - Mar 29th, 2008 at 8:30am
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... He told me the story about the 'Adonis type' in the mountains of the Ozark and how he manufactured "rivers of living water".  That made me gag so I started looking for some 'peas of the black eye'.  Verily I say unto you ... they were no where to be found.

Nox
  

IT'S POLITICS NOT PERSONAL
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Polarbear
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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #18 - Mar 29th, 2008 at 1:08pm
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...and it was then that I awoke from my drunken slumber. I was cold, I was sick to my stomach, my ears were ringing. What the hell was in that last cocktail that I took at the...
  
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TinyDancer
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Re: - LNF story book -
Reply #19 - Mar 29th, 2008 at 6:38pm
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...the Blue Martini?  The place had seemed cozy enough for a reunion with an old lover.  Set back from the main drag, its weathered exterior spoke of the crashing waves outside.  The Palm trees bent their scratchy fronds next to the parking lot, so I parked my Audi, in the back.  The yellow light, from the back door, glowed like a hurricane lamp.  I shook my head.  "Too many hurricane stories", I growled to myself.  I hastened to the door, and opened it.  I saw her across the room.  Her dark hair swirled around her, her dark eyes glowed as she lifted her glass and said...
  
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