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Normal Topic after the Libertarian Revolution.... (Read 1,938 times)
Limey
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after the Libertarian Revolution....
Nov 4th, 2014 at 10:47pm
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Scene : a battlefield; we hear the whole thing over the radio.

Dramatis personae : Sgt. Limski (an honest Left-wing warrior for Democracy and socialism)
Commissar Tovardski Libertarievko (a dastardly twisted SOB with malevolent tendencies)
Sturmbanfuhrer Rabbit (an ardent stormtrooper for Das Anarchan, a Waffen-SchwarzerBanner assault battalion)

Sgt Limski: (into radio handset) Hello Zero, this is Alpha 41, a fire mission, over.
(static crackle over VHF)
Tovardski Libertarievko: (over radio) say again all between “hello” and “over”, over
Limski: A fire mission, a fire mission, over
TL: ahh, OK Limski, tell me, do you want the Gold Star service, Silver Premier, or our Standard package? Over
Limski: Eh? What the fu……? Zero, I do not understand, this is an urgent fire mission. The enemy are about to overwhelm us, we need fire support from Divisional artillery, battlegroup mortars, any assets, I repeat, this is urgent. Over.
TL: OK, OK, I understand you. So, in the interests of an equitable exchange, am I to note that you have a very pressing need? Over
Limski: You betcha! I can see Waffen-SchwarzerBanner panzergrenadiers not 300 yards away. One of them looks like he’s eating a carrot. Over.
TL: Calm down soldier, we’re on it. Now, has your collective, sorry, unit, signed up for the Gold Star service? Over
Limski: What the hell are you talking about? (there’s a burst of MG fire in the background over the radio) Jesus that was close! Errr…. I dunno… Gold Star service? The CO’s dead, Sgt. Major. Fudd has lost his shotgun… Master Sgt. Gunner seems to have run off, so has the interpreter lady with the cleavage….. Come to think of it, they left at the same time…  I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just get us some fire support!!! Over.
TL: Limski, since the Libertarian Revolution, we have not had any sort of command economy. You know that from the political lectures that replaced small-arms training and parade drill. And first aid. And navigation skills. And PT. Son, we have entered in to a world of free and fair exchange with a number of external, non-government providers of artillery. They provide varying levels of service. And accuracy, to be honest. Which is your unit signed up to? Over
Limski: I have no idea!! Fire support!!!! Aaarghghgh! Over!
TL: (chuckles regretfully) ahhh, if it were only so simple! (there’s a sound over the radio, suspiciously like good coffee being poured in to a large mug) Listen Limski, I like you so I’ll make it real easy. Like I say, remember the lectures. We don’t have a Statist system any more – free and fair exchange is what it’s all about now. You exchange something with us, to a perceived value that we both accept. To save your lives. So, if you’re not already signed up even to the Standard package, we have to do a deal. Whaddaya got?
Limski: (sound of uncomprehending goggling, as of a man trapped in a Kafka story)
TL: Say again all after ‘Nyurhghghghrghgh arrrrrghh sob sob whimper’ over?
Limski: (pulling himself together) OK, I remember the lectures – I thought they were some kind of straight-faced USO comedians, Jesus…. it was all real…. OK, OK, I guess the survivors could scrape together a few hundred in cash.
TL: (silence)
Limski: Hello? Hello?
TL: Weelllllllll, kinda, hhhmmmmm, y’know…. The deal seems lopsided. You want us to go to a lot of trouble. Those 155 shells are heavy, and we swopped a whole bunch of stuff for them. Hand woven smocks, some stuff Frank1 grew – beans maybe, or some kind of nut. I haven’t tried them. One of Maleorder’s PhD certificates…. A couple of thousand of Bert’s jokes… What else you got?
Limski: wait out (leaves handset pressel pressed: we hear rifle fire, screams, and urgent listing of personal possessions) Hello Zero, we have several houses belonging to guys who aren’t going to make it, we got them to sign blank wills – is that valid, under morphine?
TL: hey, what’s OK in front of an independent adjudicator mutually chosen by all parties, is OK. I’m sure you’ll agree to my choice of contract adjudicator?
Limski: Sure, yeah, just send in the Long Tom kisses right now!!!! Target, infantry, grid 5034 2988
TL: shot out
Limski: shot out…… splash, add 50
TL: add 50…. Shot out
TL: shot out…. Splash… fire for effect!!!!!
(sound of very loud explosions and screaming)
Limski: (jubilant) It worked! They’re surrendering! (sound of scuffle) I got a prisoner!
Sturmbanfuhrer Rabbit: get your filthy hands off me! This is forced association!
Limski: (pointing rifle at Rabbit) save it, you bastard!
Rabbit: No! We of the Waffen-SchwarzerBanner will never be silenced, you statist pig – dog!
Limski: (looks thoughtful) Hhmmmmm….. (clubs Rabbit with rifle butt)
Limski: (looking at silent Sturmbanfuhrer Rabbit lying silently silenced on floor) wrong as usual.
(screech of tyres. A huge HMMWV pulls up. Gigantic MPs, with ‘’Free Association Contract Adjudicator” written on their helmets – hey, I said they were gigantic – rush up to Limski)
Gigantic MP: Sgt Limski? Give us the deeds to all your unit’s houses, all your cash, your clothes, your weapon, your food and that unconscious prisoner or we’ll shoot you and ostracise your widow. By the way, we lost.
Limski: Dammit! Oh well, at least there was a way to end this so that TL wouldn’t say ‘oh well, at least it ended with victory for the Libertarians’


FIN

  

Under Capitalism, Man exploits Man.

Under Communism, it's the exact opposite.
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EF
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #1 - Nov 12th, 2014 at 4:53pm
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I like this.  I wish LNF had a "like" function like Facebook. As a fellow who made it pay grade E-4 only because it was sort of automatic, I like being portrayed as a sergeant major, too.  Even if I did lose my shotgun.
  

non sumus stulti
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Limey
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #2 - Nov 12th, 2014 at 6:42pm
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Thank you.

Just amusing myself.

Glad you enjoyed it.
  

Under Capitalism, Man exploits Man.

Under Communism, it's the exact opposite.
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TowardLiberty
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #3 - Nov 13th, 2014 at 11:29am
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Good stuff, Limey.

Though I don't believe high value targets would even exist without some sort of contract or agreement with an insurance provider.
  

"Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influences, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist." J M Keynes

"In the first place, the dichotomy between "theoretical" and "practical" is a false one. In economics, all arguments are theoretical. And, since economics discusses the real world, these theoretical arguments are by their nature "practical" ones as well." M Rothbard
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Limey
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #4 - Nov 13th, 2014 at 6:04pm
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You may have a point.

Fictionally speaking, do you think Rabbit looks good in that uniform?
  

Under Capitalism, Man exploits Man.

Under Communism, it's the exact opposite.
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TowardLiberty
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #5 - Nov 14th, 2014 at 11:25am
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Limey wrote on Nov 13th, 2014 at 6:04pm:
You may have a point.

Fictionally speaking, do you think Rabbit looks good in that uniform?


He's always the dapper gentleman.
  

"Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influences, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist." J M Keynes

"In the first place, the dichotomy between "theoretical" and "practical" is a false one. In economics, all arguments are theoretical. And, since economics discusses the real world, these theoretical arguments are by their nature "practical" ones as well." M Rothbard
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #6 - Nov 16th, 2014 at 3:48pm
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You managed to get a lot of us in there: but you forgot the part where Jasmine parachutes down from the International Space Station in a massive and massively armored exoskeleton, kills everyone, and then declares herself Queen of the World!   Cheesy Grin
  


To say homo sapiens, is to say Homo religiosus; there is no man without God. ~Frithjof Schuon
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Limey
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Re: after the Libertarian Revolution....
Reply #7 - Aug 20th, 2016 at 8:40pm
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EF wrote on Nov 12th, 2014 at 4:53pm:
I like this.  I wish LNF had a "like" function like Facebook. As a fellow who made it pay grade E-4 only because it was sort of automatic, I like being portrayed as a sergeant major, too.  Even if I did lose my shotgun.



Ha! I was just mentally flicking through old posters who ain't around, and this came to me.

"?" is Fudd.

And I, Sir,  am Sherlock Holmes.
  

Under Capitalism, Man exploits Man.

Under Communism, it's the exact opposite.
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