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Wadsworth
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Hell
Oct 9th, 2017 at 2:07pm
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Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Vladimir Putin all died and, as former world leaders, were being given a tour of hell.

While there, they saw a red phone and asked what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a
check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is  finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she
writes him a check.

Finally Obama gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is  $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Obama got to call USA so cheaply.  The devil smiled and replied: "Since Trump took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
  

Definition of Stupid: 
Knowing the truth, seeing evidence of truth, but still believing the lie.
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billy.pilgrim
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Re: Hell
Reply #1 - Oct 10th, 2017 at 2:38pm
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The temperature of hell

Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student


The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory
is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."


  

the wis-dum of acrhie
"I am sure Trump is like me."
"There is no capitalism under Obama’s rule. He is a fu8&^ communist."
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Wadsworth
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Re: Hell
Reply #2 - Oct 10th, 2017 at 4:03pm
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A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw Donald Trump snuggling up with his wife.
"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and Trump  gets to spend it with his wife."
"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
  

Definition of Stupid: 
Knowing the truth, seeing evidence of truth, but still believing the lie.
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Re: Hell
Reply #3 - Oct 11th, 2017 at 2:34pm
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I have no idea why this explanation of  hell was deleted from the religion section. Maybe the good news that we are all going to heaven wasn't appreciated.
  
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