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Jasmine
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Crushed
Feb 21st, 2018 at 9:14pm
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My world is fading to black

I gasp for air. Is this the end?

My eyes moisten, my lips quiver

I can feel my life force draining from me

The stench of death fills my nostrils

As the weight of the world crushes me

I fall deeper into the abyss

Desperation begins to give way to resignation

I am fading

Fading

Blackness surrounds me

Fading

I gasp for one final, precious breath

And call out to the world

"YOU WIN, MICHELLE! UNCLE! UNCLE! NOW GET YOUR FAT ELEPHANT BUTT OFF ME!!!"

-- Jasmine, 2018
  


President Trump turned you into a snowflake? Woman up!
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BowHunter
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Re: Crushed
Reply #1 - Feb 23rd, 2018 at 1:11am
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Twins?
  

When Q hears gallop noises he doesn't think zebras; he thinks there's a Democrat behind a curtain, making gallop noises.
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Harrys Sockpuppet4335
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Re: Crushed
Reply #2 - Feb 25th, 2018 at 6:37pm
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Jasmine, crushed as she was, reached out for the batphone. It was just a millimeter or so beyond her reach.

She cried. She cussed. She remembered she wore a belt.
  

I Survived the Obama Debacle
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Harrys Sockpuppet4335
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Re: Crushed
Reply #3 - Mar 1st, 2018 at 2:18am
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Jaz, once she realized the belt throw would work, quickly, or as quickly as an oxygen deprived being sat on by a big fat chick mind can comply, used her bet to reprieve the batphone. She chindialed Bert immediately.

Bert, being in a compromising position when the batphone rang, ignored the shit out of it. The thought, "that bitch got herself into this..." formost on his mind after the compromising, somewhat pleasurable, position he found himself in was considered.

Somewhat pleasurable, compromising positions being what they are, they don't last forever. Bert finally recovered to the point that the constant buzzing of the batphone demanded his attention.

He read the chintext.

"OMG" Bert said to himself, as he brushed the al dente spaghetti from himself, "she'll be crushed!"

Mounting the batmeatball, Bert headed in the general direction of the Jaz alert GPS location. This wasn't gonna be easy, as the roadblocks set up by the evil Left Wing  out to euthanize the heroic Jaz compared to the Trump Wall of Death.

Bert avoided obstacles such as BowHunter arrows, an iphone update, and finally, a concerted effort by Bam Bam to drain his meatballs of juice.

Arriving at the scene, Bert quickly took an inventory. Jaz looked flat. Michelle looked fat. Michelle made Jaz flat by being on top. She seemed to genuinely enjoy the position.

Bert knew the scissor move to be his only option, and selflessly swung into action wedging himself between the behemoth and the waif. The waif, Jaz, was ready, and unleashed her Swiss Army Knife, model # BR549 on the looming menace.

The Michelle blubber menace taken care of, Jaz apologized to Bert for the not insignificant knick to his sack.



  

I Survived the Obama Debacle
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