Skit: President Obama’s “Special” Bowling Challenge
Here’s a recent skit I wrote after the small controversy over President Obama’s “Special Olympics” remark on the Jay Leno show. The ironic thing is that I use “Special Olympics” jokes all the time.
“This is a Fox News Alert! We now take you LIVE to Washington DC, where President Obama is competing against a Special Olympics bowler in a friendly game of bowling! As you know, the President got in hot water recently when he insulted Special Olympians everywhere on the Jay Leno Show. As a result, Special Olympics issued a challenge to the President, and this is the result. We now take you to the bowling alley with our correspondent, Jasmine. Jasmine?”
JASMINE: Thanks, Brett. Well, the game is already well underway. In fact, we’re in the third frame, and already the Special Olympics kid is putting a whupping on President Obama. The score so far is 68 to 26. Next to me to provide analysis is a veteran Special Olympics bowling champ. How would you assess the game so far, sir?
SLOW POCKETS: I lyke to eet buggz.
JASMINE: Thank you for that analysis. Well, both competitors are miked. Let’s see for ourselves how the game is progressing!
(Frame 4)
SPECIAL OLYMPIAN: Ha ha! I’m far out in the lead already, Mr. President! Try to keep up, OK?
PRESIDENT OBAMA: There’s still plenty of bowling to play, young man. And as my good friend Barney Frank likes to say, I do my best work coming from behind.
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(Frame 6)
SPECIAL OLYMPIAN: Wow, Mr. President! You suck! Hahaha! You’re choking on my dust!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: I’m not giving up, kid. You keep doing your best. Remember the tortoise beat the hare.
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(Frame 
SPECIAL OLYMPIAN: Hee hee! Mr. President, I’m like so waaaay ahead! I’m having my best game ever. You can’t win!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Yes, you’re doing fine, son. But it’s not always about winning. I’m going to finish strong, just watch!
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(After the game)
JASMINE: Wow, this was a one-sided game! I guess Mr. Obama has learned his lesson! By our tally, the Special Olympics bowler scored an all-time best of 206, while President Obama scored an 89. But wait! The Special Olympian looks really upset! He’s crying. Let’s see what they’re saying down there…
SPECIAL OLYMPIAN: You can’t do that!!!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Like my campaign slogan said, Yes I Can! I’m issuing an executive order to take one-half of your total points, and transferring them to me. So now the score is 103 for you, and 192 for me. I guess I win…
SPECIAL OLYMPIAN: Whaaat? THAT’S *#&!%@! RETARDED!!!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: It’s good to, you know, spread the wealth around. Thanks for bailing me out, kid.